Once you decide on Adoption:
Placing your child for adoption is a very loving and difficult decision. There are many things you must consider to make the best decision for you and your child. Here are some important questions you should ask yourself.
How can adoption be good for my baby and me?
If you are not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption. You can plan your baby’s future by selecting a stable, loving family to care for your baby. At birth, you can see your baby, name your baby, love your baby. If you so choose, you can get updates on your child’s progress while you continue your education and career goals. Finally, you avoid the trauma and heartbreak of an abortion. You can be proud of your decision for adoption.
Can I choose a family for my baby?
Yes! With most adoption agencies you can choose a family friend, acquaintance or someone who has been recommended to you, even someone in another state. Or you can choose from couples screened by your agency who have been waiting to become parents.
How much contact can I have with my baby after birth and after adoption?
You may have as much contact with your baby at the hospital as is comfortable for you. In most places, you can choose an open adoption that allows for ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption in which your updates come through letters and pictures arranged through your agency. Adoptive families respect your need to know that your child is well cared for.
How soon after birth can my baby go to the parents I choose?
This depends on three factors:
- your choice of when this should happen
- the legal aspects of the adoption
- the cooperation of the birth father
Many birth mothers want their baby placed by the time they leave the hospital. Some prefer to place their baby in interim care while they think through their adoption decision.
How much will my child know about me?
We encourage you to pass your medical and social history on to your child. You may choose to share your identity and where you live with the adoptive family. Or, if you have an open adoption, your child and adoptive family can have ongoing access to you and what’s happening in your life.
Does the father have any rights?
The birth father’s rights are equal to yours. If you disagree on adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency will work with the court to determine if his rights can be terminated.
Will my child have information about his or her birth father?
This will depend on the birth father’s cooperation with you and your adoption agency. Some birth fathers give their full medical and social history, recognizing how important it is for the child. At other times, only the information you give us will be passed on.
Can my child find me if he or she wants to search someday?
At the time of the adoption, you can choose to have an open file to your child. If you do, your child will have access to your identity and your agency will assist in the search. If you choose a closed adoption, your identity will remain anonymous.
How can I be sure my child will not be neglected or abused?
Adoptive families approved by your agency must meet standards that are shared with you. In an open adoption you will see for yourself how well your child is cared for and how much your child is loved.
Do I need an attorney or do I pay my agency to assist me with the adoption?
You do not need an attorney, and there are no costs to you. Your adoption agency handles all legal details on your behalf. Most important, your agency knows your decision was not an easy one to make and will continue to be available to you if you so choose.